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To know & not to do is not to know |
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Friday, 27 November 2009 |
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At what stage do we learn? At what stage do we start to listen? I hear this in my clients and in myself all the time- the frustration and disappointment in ourselves because we KNOW BETTER. My clients will hold their heads in disappointment and say-I know this yet I keep doing the same thing over and over again.My response all the time is the same- to know and not to do is not to know. We know everything on an intellectual level yet we make no commitment to alter our behaviors to “DO” what we know. This process is evident in our language with the wonderful word: “SHOULD”. “I should eat better”“I should exercise more”“I should stop reacting from EGO”“I should not drink anymore”I should not be around those people/situations” The word SHOULD tells us that on some level we know better but we are not carrying through what we know in our actions- in fact we are clearly sabotaging ourselves- over and over again! And as we see, the universe continues to throw some painful events at us until we really start to embrace the lessons and the transformation we require to truly development our selves. So, I ask again, at what stage do we learn? At what stage do we really start to DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY? The first step is to catch yourself in your language- look out for those times you are using the word SHOULD or not acting in alignment with something you know. With this awareness we can begin to question ourselves and ask internally what is that we truly know- what is the real message for us. Once we have this we can relate that knowing to the relevant internal value. For example- I know that I should stop allowing distractions into my day- I then bring this knowing to relate to my internal value of FOCUS (staying focused). This step requires you to know and have very clear and empowering values set up- if you do not have that awareness already get yourself coached! Our values become our internal GPS- our internal knowledge, our rules and guidelines for living. Our value system is our manifest for living our lives in total alignment with our full potential. Once I bring my awareness to FOCUS (the relevant value) then I can begin to have clarity on what I am working towards and then begin to question myself on how I can stay and BE more focused. What behaviors and actions do I commit to in order to have focus in my life? Then I act on those behaviors and begin to realize that I am doing what I know so I have amazing new results in my life.
“Moving along the upward spiral requires us to learn, commit, and do on increasingly higher planes. We deceive ourselves if we think that any one of these is sufficient. To keep progressing, we must learn, commit, and do—learn, commit, and do—and learn, commit, and do again.”
Stephen R. Covey from “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”
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Are you a wounded warrior? |
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Tuesday, 18 August 2009 |
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Dear Wounded Warrior,
I realize there was a time when your heart was wounded-A time when you closed your heart. A time when the shield went up to protect you from the perceived pain- a time when maybe you forgot how to give and receive love.
Perhaps this wounded heart led you to believe you were not good enough or not truly worthy of love- perhaps everything after that point became a mission to either avoid feeling again or to prove you could be loved. I see now that your heart is in a glass cage.
I feel your fragility, wounded warrior; I feel your pain and see your vulnerability- no matter how hard you are trying to keep it hidden. Your harsh words, your need for control and your pushing me away are all signs of your pain. The decision led you to forget yourself, you are lost, wounded warrior.
I get now that this decision of "lack of worthiness" created your fear. This fear has created anger, despair and loneliness- there is a bubbling rage within you-a frantic energy waiting to be set free.
I see through you, wounded warrior, you are transparent. Put down your shield and open your heart again- aren't you tired of the fight? With your heart in a glass cage you cannot feel what is around you- the numbness is blinding you from the truth. Because, my darling warrior, the truth is YOU ARE DEEPLY LOVED AND HAVE A GREAT WORTH WHICH NEEDS TO BE SHARED WITH THE WORLD. You are needed and all the protection is just getting in the way and holding you back.
IS THIS YOU? ARE YOU THE WOUNDED WARRIOR?
DOES THIS WOUNDED WARRIOR EXIST IN ALL OF US?
Let's put down the shield, break through the glass, connect back to our true essence-in our essence lies our ability to truly feel and express love, in our essence lies our courage, our true strength, to stand our ground in calmness and wisdom rather then the fear of a soldier. Set yourself free, let your heart out of this prison, feel, love and be happy.
"A warrior does not give up what he loves; he finds the love in what he does" Dan Millman the peaceful warrior
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A pure heart attracts a pure heart |
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Tuesday, 18 August 2009 |
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Our relationships are a mirror reflecting what lies within us.
(Scary thought- I know)
What you see in your partner is a reflection of what exists within you. As Carl Jung said what you see outside of you is you; Jewish Kabala says we don't see things as they are we see things as we are. So therefore the reflection is us.
So I guess if we are having difficult relationships and feeling frustrated by our partners we must look within us. Are we in EGO or ESSENCE?
In our EGO state we will be coming from our NEED- specifically our NEED to be loved and our NEED to feel Worthy because we are driven by our fear- our FEAR of not being loved or not feeling worthy (yep it all comes done to those 2 (oh and let's not forget the best one- not feeling good enough).
This fear has ruled our relationships, created expectations, created illusions of doubt and mistrust- it takes over our communication and leads to control, anger, or withdrawal and submission-it has led us to abUSE one another-USE each other to feed our fears- love me and make me feel worthy. When we come from need we can only reflect need.
Is this our TRUTH- is this what we call LOVE?
When we drop our fear and come from our TRUE ESSENCE then we can begin to have TRUE LOVING RELATIONSHIPS. In fact people can get to know us and love us for the very first time and we can experience love on an even deeper level as well. When our hearts of filled with love we can only see love.
In our Essence we are complete, we are fulfilled - we are loved, worthy good enough and recognize our perfection with all of creation- we realize our connection with all of creation- we recognize our oneness. In this state we communicate authentic truth, compassion, kindness, joy and bliss,
When our hearts are pure we attract a pure heart.
"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." Carl Jung
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Monday, 03 August 2009 |
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Most of you have heard my LIFE RULE #3:From Pain comes growth! So what does this mean? Freud said we are a society that does more to avoid pain then seek pleasure. Think about it, chocolate, food, drugs, chocolate, alcohol, shopping, chocolate, shoes, gambling, chocolate, sex etc etc; are these all just measures for us to distract ourselves from the pain? So what is pain, why do we avoid it and how can we turn it into growth? Pain is in our memory, and every memory and every experience is stored in our cells. So fear therefore can be seen as a memory of every painful experience - every time we are in pain we are simply just reliving a past event. And our EGO was designed to protect us from any external threat, so perhaps pain can also be seen as the memory of the EGO. Afterall isn’t EGO simply our fear dressed up. So in each event when we turned to our EGO for protection we ignored our own internal guidance system of WISDOM. We just became our EGO and all our decisions and actions after that moment all came from that lower place in us, the place that began to generate our negative emotions like anger, hatred, judgment, control, dominance, depression, anxiety, over whelm, frustration and oh so many more. As those emotions are stored in each cell, think of the illnesses we generate each time we become one. So what is the pain telling us? Have we let go of the past? Are we still holding on to stuff? What do you need to let go of to release the pain in your body and mind? Once this is released we can start to redefine this relationship we have had with pain. Rather becoming our pain and storing it in our bodies we can detach from pain by learning to listen in closely to our internal voice, begin to listen in closely to what the pain is trying to tell us, listen to it as if we were listening to a friend. Instead of becoming your pain, befriend your pain, listen to the lessons and GROW.“When you're green, you're growing. When you're ripe, you rot.” Ray Kroc
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Monday, 27 July 2009 |
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Each of us has our own internal fuel tank to keep us going and thriving.
I like call this fuel ENTHUSIASM.
Enthusiasm is our internal fuel for functioning. When our tanks are full we are unstoppable.
Think about a time where you were completely energized? Completely in self belief and completely passionate about something? How quickly did things happen?
How high was your level of enthusiasm?
This is the fuel that gets businesses started, makes relationships thrive and keeps us at our healthiest. We are at our highest vibration and function as a huge ball of matter or energy. We attract greatness in that mode.
Our thoughts and emotions are positive and free flowing. We have courage, strength, wisdom, vitality and passion. We are positively happy and energized- healthy and active! So what affects our fuel? What really takes away our energy?
What really intoxicates us and weighs us down is our negative thinking- any thoughts of anger, frustration, over whelm, anxiety, sadness, despair, guilt, shame, resentment depletes our enthusiasm and de-energizes us. (Yes that is a word) :- ) All of this we sum into fearful thoughts- it is those fearful thoughts that are destroying us in every moment.
Negativity affects us on so many levels- when we are depleted our bodies are depleted and we are breeding illness with every bad thought.
Energize yourself with positivity and positive emotions and make your life thrive.
"Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." Abraham Lincoln
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